Monday, November 9, 2015

Pearls Before Swine

Greetings,

It has been quite a while since I've posted, and I will admit losing interest somewhat in continuing this blog.  It's not because of any lack of interest in magick, or in writing in general.  To the contrary, I still practice magick every single day and have never stopped achieving successes and insights during my work.  But I have lost interest in relaying my magickal experiences to others, especially since there are many other blogs and similar resources which will do that.

Since recent world events could point to some sort of final cataclysm on the horizon, my full focus must be on completing the Great Work for myself, and leaving others to their own devices.  This decision is not result of ill will toward any per se, but is actually inspired by my recent work with my ancestors, ancestral gods, and with their magick.  I am glad they have opened my eyes to this.

For too long, centuries in fact, have these occult secrets been shared with profane ones, and thus have they used these and other secrets to destroy the beautiful world which this Earth used to be, along with the beauty, prosperity, and dignity of the Original people of this world.  These secrets should never have been given to the Greeks, the created Tamahu, nor to the so-called Jews (who nowadays are NOT the Jews of the Bible days, but are Khazars), nor to those who are like them, because they were not ready for it and so they have misused it like little children playing with matches and thereby nearly destroyed this world.  They imitate what they have seen, like apes, but have no understanding past their own xenophobia and greed.

That all must end, so I can no longer contribute to it, even in this small of a measure as what my blog is.  I cannot knowingly contribute to the appropriation of the secrets of my ancestors, especially when I know full well that such appropriation will not benefit those of my ancestry in any way, but instead will inevitably lead to their further detriment and the destruction of their lands.  This view is upheld by actual history and unclouded by any sentiment.  As I realize that the cat is already out of the proverbial bag with regard to the ancient teachings as based within the Egyptian Mystery religion, I also realize that this is a living science and that only those with the requisite Melanated condition can or should evolve it further, as aided by the ancestors.

The best thing the Tamahu have done is to keep the stolen and appropriated records of this knowledge until the real gods of this world could reawaken, reclaim, and further develop it.  The best thing I can do now, is to hold the secrets of my ancestors, and my experiments with it, in my own heart, and then to use all of what I know first to achieve full economic and social parity and then rightful supremacy, first for myself and then for those who look like me, over those who are inferior in all meaningful ways to us.

You, the reader, might read what I am saying and become offended, and that is to be expected.  But believe me when I say this, I could care less, especially if you do not bear the mark of a god, i.e., a melanated skin pigment.  In my ongoing search for godhood, it is no longer conducive for me to concern myself with, or be interested overmuch in, the opinions of those who can never and will never become gods, no matter what they learn, as it is not in their genetic nature to become so.   They will only destroy themselves with this knowledge as it is not meant for them, and rightfully so, but they may also further destroy the world with it, as we have seen, because of their lack of understanding.

For the record, I have enjoyed writing this blog, but now I must seek the deeper secrets and mysteries of the magick of my ancestors, and I will do so in darkness and silence.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I'm just gonna leave this here...

Well worth the read...

http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/10-quotes-from-a-sioux-indian-chief-that-will-make-you-question-everything-about-our-society/

Monday, August 4, 2014

A Different Spin on Gravity

Greetings,

Ok, I'm going to take a break from black magick with this post to document an idea I had the other week.

I have this thing about trees.  I love being around them, especially in highly wooded areas.  There's a park not far from my house where I sometimes go to clear my mind.

So anyway, I was checking out this tree, and the thought occurred to me: "What if the tree isn't actually growing up, but instead is growing OUT?"  I'll explain.

What if what we call gravity doesn't actually exist at all as the force they claim it is.  I'm admittedly not a physicist, and I know that sounds nuts, but follow the thought process for a minute.

What if trees are basically hanging onto the earth by their roots, but are just sort of hanging into the sky and by extension, space.  We know that for those living on a rotating sphere, there is no real up or down, it's all perspective.  So if there's no real "up" as we like to think, maybe the trees (and other plants) are growing "out" because of the centrifugal forces of the earth's spin.  We know there must be a force that causes most plants to grow toward the sun and sky.  Let's take it further.

What if we (people), along with everything else, are not being pulled down to the earth by whatever is at the core as we've all been taught, but instead are being pushed down to the earth by whatever is in space?  What if all of the stars, planets, moons, and everything that is in rotation is throwing off centrifugal forces in all directions, which balances everything else in the galaxy or universe.

Could what we call "gravity" actually be a manifestation of the average of centrifugal forces from space pushing down on everything on the surface along with the centrifugal forces from the earth pushing up?

If you could somehow cancel the centrifugal forces from space, would that help you levitate by riding the waves of centrifugal forces on the earth?  Is that how the pyramids were built?

We know that sound can cause levitation effects.  We've seen it occur plenty of times - I just saw someone do it on America's Got Talent, and stories and videos are all over YouTube which show it as well.  Maybe specific sound frequencies can cancel or disrupt the earth's centrifugal force causing an object to float.

Isn't this a much simpler idea than the problematic idea of gravity?  Did you know that they really don't have much of a working definition of gravity other than: "It's a force that draws things down to the center of the earth".  Add to that, physicists when trying to reconcile Newtons Laws with the relativity and quantum theories of Einstein run into plenty of inconsistencies in their calculations with regard to gravity.  They reconcile some of those inconsistencies by relating gravity to magnetism, but "gravity" affects things which aren't magnetic, so how exactly does that work?

Long story short, they don't really know what gravity is, and can't really define it, they just "know" what it does.  That's not a definition.  Why should anyone believe in something that doesn't have a REAL (as opposed to a working) definition, especially when a real definition CAN'T be provided?  They can't even prove that what they call gravity exists at all as a force separate from magnetism or from centrifugal forces, let alone that it's a "law".  We just know we don't fly off into space as a result of the earth's spin, but no one can explain why without using a bunch of arcane equations that few people understand.

Sorry, but I just don't think nature is that complicated where it needs equations which are 3 city blocks long in order to describe it, or to describe how it works.

Anyway, not to belabor the point but I'd love to hear someone else's take on this idea.  It's really just an intriguing possibility, and I'm not saying gravity doesn't exist because I don't actually know whether it exists or not, at least in the way that they describe it.

Where's Neil DeGrasse Tyson or Michio Kaku when you need them?

Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Interplay between Light and Shadow

Greetings,

It occurred to me again yesterday that the things we find in nature can teach us so much about physical reality and what causes it to exist.  For example, I was contemplating a particular tree while relaxing on a hill in the park with my daughter, and how we can both see and miss the fullness of a tree's appearance.  I'll explain.

A tree (and actually everything) is the result of the light which feeds it, and the darkness from which it grows.  It is only a representation of the miracle of life, and the polarities of light and darkness between which it develops.  You can see these polarities represented by simply looking at the tree from a new perspective.

The light from the sun illuminates the tree so that you can perceive it, and the shadow behind and under the tree gives the tree "depth".  In other words, the light and shadow are inextricably a part of the tree, but we miss those things when just contemplating the tree itself.  Since the sun's light nourishes all created life, and since all things cast a shadow while in the presence of light, the sun and the shadow are also a part of all things within this reality.

By this example, we can see the forces of light and shadow, and how necessary they both are for our existence.  You cannot extricate the origin of a thing from the thing itself, because if you do, that thing becomes undefined.  All things originate from the sun itself, or from the stars, and are present manifestations of an ongoing process.  All things also cast a shadow.  Therefore to exalt light above shadow is in error, because both are necessary and must be balanced.


Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Correct Way to Use a Waning Lunar Cycle

This post should be of some use to those who may not know the correct way to use a waning lunar cycle, as I didn't until recently.  As most practitioners know, waxing lunar cycles are best for pulling things in to you, and waning cycles are best for pushing things away from you.  Talismans (which pull things to you) are traditionally used during waxing cycles, and amulets (which push things away) are traditionally used during waning cycles.

However, it can be difficult to use both cycles, especially if one isn't sure what should be pulled in or pushed away.  Using the technique that I will show here, can help make a manifestation easier to come by, and more fulfilling as well.


 

Magick as an Act of Sex with the Cosmos


Many high initiates of sex magick have written about the sexual nature of magickal work.  In truth, the act of sex is very closely related to the act of manifesting desired changes, or magick.  When using the Moon's cycles, this becomes clear as one uses the gentle "push and pull", or the sexual interplay between Mars and Venus in order to conceive a child, or manifestation.

The main idea here is that the overall intention should remain foremost in one's mind during the work so that there is no deviation from it's manifestation, no matter what current cycle the moon is in.  So to illustrate the point, we'll use an example.


 

A Manifestation Isn't Just the Object of Desire


Let's say that one is performing a spell for a new car.  During the waxing cycle, one would perform their magick to pull the car towards them, and during the waning cycle one would use magick to push "everything that is not conducive to the manifestation of that car" away from them.  This keeps the car foremost in the mind, and shapes reality by carving that car from the essential nothingness.


Let's use a diagram to further illustrate. 

Let the circle below represent the sphere of the desire.  The dot within this circle represents the desire itself, or the specific intention of the spell.  Everything within the circle that is NOT the dot, represents the environment within which the dot will manifest.  Magick done during the waxing cycle pulls the "dot" into manifest reality, and magick done during the waning cycle modifies the environment that the "dot" will manifest within, by removing whichever factors are not conducive to this dot's highest and best manifestation.  The dot then is the "embryo", and the entire area inside the circle and around the dot becomes the "womb".





Now since we are using both cycles of the Moon, we could even use two different spells to manifest the same very specific desire.  One spell would be to draw the desire forth, and could be worked during the waxing cycle.  The other spell would be to push away "what is not conducive to the desire".  The second spell basically "lubricates" the manifestation into becoming, by magickally detoxifying the environment which will give the desire it's final form.  The desire is the same for both, but the two approaches are essentially mirror images of each other, with one adding energy to the manifestation, and the other spell removing factors from the environment which may hinder it's best manifestation. 


A Word of Caution - Use Divination!


This is a two-pronged approach that will work much better than a one-off spell, or even a week-long working.  Using this technique over a month's time should bring about a powerful manifestation.

However, care should be taken to ensure that the intended manifestation is what you really want when using this technique, because it intrinsically makes modifications to your sphere that could also have other ramifications in whichever areas of your life they are also connected to.  

For example, if you getting a new car requires an improvement to your credit score, you may start hearing from collection agencies or credit counselors in order to help pay off old debts and improve that score.  You could suddenly have a falling out with your cable company, and decide that you no longer want their service, which would definitely free up more money for a car payment.  Your significant other, who doubles as a leech on your finances, may decide that the grass is greener elsewhere and suddenly leave.  One almost never knows how these things can manifest, so as always, a Tarot divination is best done before casting your spell so you'll know if you can tolerate your manifestation's most likely path of progression.

I hope this helps people understand a bit more about using Lunar cycles.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Circles and Lamens and Swords, Oh My!

Greetings,

I've written about my first experience in Goetic evocation previously, as have many others on forums or on their own blogs, but one thing that I've rarely seen in others' posts are reflections and observations dealing with how their viewpoints have evolved about the whole topic since then.  I intend to do that here.  Be mindful that these are only my opinions about the whole thing, and others are welcome to agree or disagree.  As always, comments are welcome.


The Goetic spirits, in my estimation, are forces of raw creative power and were placed in their roles by God/dess.  Some are probably Nephilim as spoken about in the Book of Enoch, but I won't get into that right now, because it's outside the scope of what I want to write about. 

It seems to me that it is no more dangerous to evoke a Goetic spirit than it is to stand outside during a thunderstorm, but within reason.  You wouldn't want to stand outside during a lightning storm wearing highly conductive metal armor, because obviously then your chances of being fried by lightning go up substantially.  However, we all know that the chances of being struck by lightning are about as remote as winning the Powerball.  I think the same applies here.

I think the secret to permanently safeguarding your own well being during Goetic evocations, without the use of Lamens, and Curses, etc., is a complete and irrevocable renunciation all opposing religious dogma, deities, etc.  Most people are not willing to do that because the Christian mind-virus is a potent one indeed, and has been highly reinforced by all of the Abrahamic religions along with it's prevalence in western cultural influences.  It can be extremely difficult to overcome it, even in one's own sovereign mind.

However belief is a tool, not necessarily a way of life.  I could just as easily petition a Catholic saint, as a Goetic spirit, by operating within the same frequency range as the spirit I'm calling up.  To do that, one must use either mantra, lighting, scripture, or even raw sine-wave frequency recordings within that range, in order to harmonize with the entity's energy firsthand in order to facilitate smooth communication.

For example, if I wanted to call up a Catholic or Pagan saint (and yes, Pagan saints exist), it would be advisable to find out which psalm corresponds to their energy, and then use it as a mantra to harmonize with that saint's energy frequency.  Then I'd make my petition.

Conversely, if I was to call up a Goetic spirit, I'd find out which enn to chant, and would do so in order to harmonize my being with that particular energy frequency.


Why Fear Has No Place in Evocation


I thoroughly believe Crowley's words where he says that the spirits of the Goetia are portions of the human brain.  Lon Milo Duquette has greatly elaborated on that particular theory in depth in his book "Angels, Demons, and Gods of the New Millennium".  The writings of Carl Jung also touch on some of that as well.

Thus, if that is so, then it follows that in order to harmonize with that portion of my own brain in order to use it to connect with the macrocosmic version of a corresponding Goetic spirit, one must determine within himself not to fear any portion of one's self or darker nature, and be sincerely seeking to bring it under conscious awareness in order to direct its might towards a practical end.

Since I'm using electrical terminology to describe this process, an insulator is also necessary either way.  My insulator is my own aura, which has been hardened by years of ritual work and banishings.  It is more of a 4D circle, instead of one drawn upon the ground, and affords all the protection one needs, if any is needed at all. 


Why I Don't Use the Solomonic Method of Evocation


Most of the remaining grimoires that document the evocation process are so heavily influenced by Christianized thinking, and Hebraic/Solomonic processes, that they make themselves necessary for those who are also influenced by the same Christianized thinking.  Many of those who evoke Goetic spirits will also tell you and the public-at-large that they are indeed Christians.

It is therefore necessary FOR THOSE sorcerers to use the Solomonic-styled processes in order to remain relatively safe.  The 72 Goetic spirits are largely comprised of Pre-Christian era gods and goddesses who have been displaced from their former glory in the minds of men.  Do you really think they will be friendly to those who worship or have any allegiance to a god that has displaced them ages ago?

Of course not, they will look for any opening in their defenses in order to strike at them.  That opening is not usually the "circle", but instead it's the words used when the request itself is phrased.  If the words used leave any opening for mischief-making, can you really blame them for making mischief, especially if you claim to be a Christian?

Think of it this way.  Let's say you're a powerful king with many subjects and a vast empire.  Then one day your kingdom is attacked and is taken from you, and you are placed in a dungeon of sorts (within the collective unconscious) for millenia.  Would you be kind to some arrogant little meat puppet who works for the new king of your former kingdom, and who approaches you threateningly in order to coerce you to perform a task for them?  No, you wouldn't.  You'd probably try to kill them if you could, or create havoc for them in their lives at least.  That way you could smack them around a bit, and have some fun at their expense, while still performing the task they requested.  This is probably why people commonly accuse the Goetic spirits of performing tasks in the most inconvenient way possible.

However, once one has thoroughly renounced any and all of the sub-or-unconscious Christian influence, it is much easier to harmonize with the so-called infernal spirits.  The total absence of fear is also necessary, along with the presence of great respect.

My Patron Goddess Auset, also known as Isis, is also known by the name Astaroth in the Goetic texts.  Because of her high rank within the Goetic pantheon under that name of Astaroth, I believe service unto her also affords a certain level of privilege and protection.  I've performed a number of Goetic evocations since my first one, and have had no issues.  Not once have I used a circle, and not once have I made a threat.


Final Thoughts


I fully intend to evoke all 72 of the Goetic spirits, one by one, at some point and as needed, because I see that as a necessary part of the Great Work itself.  This is because if each spirit indeed rules 5 degrees of a 360 degree sphere of influence in the cosmos, then by evoking each one, I will eventually consciously control the entire 360 degrees of my own sphere.  As above, so below.  I will eventually write about those experiences at length.

I realize all this is somewhat of an oversimplification, because another big factor in the evocation process is direct contact and a relationship with the Divine self.  The HGA (Holy Guardian Angel) fits that bill.  I am a firm believer that one must have achieved contact with their own HGA/Genius before attempting Goetic evocation, at least in the western magick tradition.  African Traditional Religions, along with Tibetan Buddhist traditions, and others likely have their own similar levels of attainment, I would imagine.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Dating and Marriage in the Matrix Age

Greetings,

Alas, I find myself single (by choice) and bereft of female companionship.  That requires me to reenter the pathological and wretched dating market.  I guess it's not entirely wretched, as much as it is chaotic.  But that's ok, because since the last time I was wandering within its depths, I have developed a much better outlook along with much better tools than I had before.  Plus I love chaos and uncertainty.  It forces you to adapt and create.


The Dating Dilemma

 I responded to an ad yesterday on a popular dating website, seeking to meet a very attractive and highly educated female that I'd found.  After emailing her for the first time, she immediately sent me her telephone number, which wouldn't ordinarily have been bad, until she sent me at least 4 subsequent emails within an hour after that wondering why I hadn't called her yet.  An obvious red flag, but I continued to entertain the idea of meeting.  She was really attractive after all.


So once I called her, we talked for close to two hours and had a lively and pleasant conversation.  I've come out of a 3 year relationship and it was good to have a non-business conversation with a female other than my ex, if for no other reason than to cut my teeth so to speak.  We made plans to meet up later in the day for drinks.

Two hours later, she calls me again for some reason that I don't recall, but I entertained the call.  Then she called again a couple hours after that for something else, and again, and again.  I spoke with her at least four times for one reason or another in the 6 hours or so before we met.  Another obvious red flag from that alone.  I'd thought she was too pretty to appear that desperate, so there had to be something else going on.  During those conversations I discovered that she'd recently lost her mother, and her dog, and had also lost her previous relationship with her fiance and had undergone major surgery all within the past year.  Wow, talk about bad luck!

The kicker was that our plans had now changed and that her best friend was going to meet with us also for drinks.  That was odd, and I teased her asking if she "needed a chaperone".  Right away I knew the friend could be a problem, but I psyched myself up that I just needed to sell myself to both women in order to have another shot at my target in a subsequent meeting. 

She told me that her friend was only going to stay for one drink (which was a lie), and that she just wanted to meet me since she had gone on and on about me to her.  The inclusion of this new factor was indeed another red flag, which took the number of red flags up to at least 7 when adding in some of the other things she'd mentioned to me about herself during our many conversations throughout the day.   So I decided to do a Tarot reading to see what the outcome of the situation would be.


The Tarot Reading


The reading was horrible.  The Death card followed by the 10 of Swords is what came up for the probability of us hitting it off.  Woah!  I'd never seen such a harsh reading before, for anything.  I had to get clarity just to make sure the reading was accurate, so since I usually throw dice to do my Tarot readings using one of Lon Milo DuQuette's techniques, I decided to reinforce that reading with another reading using actual Tarot cards to see what the outcome of the night would be.

That subsequent reading told the whole story.  I did a Past, Present, Future spread on it and the cards that came up were the Two of Pentacles in the past position, Queen of Cups for the present position, and the Empress card reversed in the future position.  I interpreted:

A) 2 of Pentacles to have something to do with the both of us being Earth signs (she is a Virgo, I am a Capricorn), along with the traditional interpretation of a material change, which was accurate because I'd needed a change (which was why I'd gotten out of my previous relationship in the first place) and because she'd also gone through some very life-altering changes recently.

B) Queen of Cups, being a watery card, was interpreted to have something to do with the clinginess of the relationship as it presently stood, since water signs can be clingy, although I also was aware of the traditional interpretation of the card having to do with the balled-up knot of negative emotional energy surrounding this female that threatened to entangle me.   She was already saying that we were "dating", although when she first said it, I hadn't even physically met her yet.  Huh?  You want me to meet your dad already?  Sweetie, I don't even know you yet, because I just met you freakin' today.

C) The Empress (Reversed) was interpreted to mean I "wasn't gettin' any" from this girl, because it can symbolize the door (Daleth) that we all enter through to get into this life (the Yoni).  The card being upside down meant I could create nothing with her, plus she'd already told me she'd had a tubal ligation (who tells a person that before actually meeting them?) which was another indicator of that.  Not that I'd want kids with her (or anyone else) anyway.  I'm happy with my daughter and don't need any more children, although stepchildren (or grandchildren many years from now) would be fine by me.

So it was obviously not the greatest of readings, but it ended up being highly accurate.  So although neither of these two readings were positive, I had already committed myself to going to the "meet-and-greet" as it were, thus I kept my word and went.  At least I was glad to be prepared for whatever was to come.


The Date


When I arrived, both females were already there and seated.  After greetings, introductions, and ordering drinks, we began getting to know one another.  My target was even more attractive than her pictures portrayed, and very sexy, and a bit taller than I'd expected although she did have on heels.  She was slender and athletic, but had the curves where they counted, and a flirty feistiness that was intoxicating.  Being the lusty goat that I am, I was definitely intrigued by all this, and was wondering how the cards could possibly be correct (although I've never seen my readings wrong).  We flirted with each other throughout the evening, while I made it a point not to let her friend feel left out of the conversation.  I'd say it went extremely well for about the first 90 minutes, and we all were indeed hitting it off, but then it suddenly all went downhill.

It all started once we got on the subject of marriage.  I'd indicated that I wasn't looking to get married again because I'm twice divorced, and through both marriages had discovered that marriage probably wasn't for me, if it ever had been.  I have a natal moon placement in Aquarius which is likely to be the true culprit for my views on that.  But my "official" reasoning for that was and is two-fold.

In the first place, in both of these past marital relationships, I'd lived with both of my long-term girlfriends prior to making them wives, and both times right after we'd married the relationships took a nose-dive and disintegrated.  In my first marriage, my wife and I had been together for 5 years before becoming man and wife, but the marriage itself lasted only another two years even though we'd had a child together.  The second time, we were together for 3 years and the marriage only lasted for another 3, but I was glad we'd had no children together in that case.

I couldn't figure it out why the disintegration of both relationships had begun to occur right after marriage, although we'd had almost no issues prior to getting married, so I surmised that marriage itself really wasn't what it was cracked up to be as far as cementing relationships goes.  The ridiculous rate of divorce (~75%) in this country is proof enough of that, but I guess I needed to experience it for myself.  I think each of those relationships, and those of others with whom I've spoken about this phenomenon, would have fared better had marriage never come into the picture.

Of course, I'd never blame marriage totally for the demise of those relationships, because in any relationship there are always challenges, whether you're married or not.  But I figured marriage had to have been a factor somehow, although I could never put my finger on exactly why.

In my most recent non-marital relationship, one point of commonality between my ex and I was that neither of us ever wanted to get married again because each of us were twice divorced.  We both thought it would be much better to just live together, although that never actually happened.  I guess I hadn't accounted for how rare it is to find a woman nowadays who doesn't want to be married, especially a woman over the age of 35 in the US.  Although I will admit that a big part of me wants to be proven wrong on that.


Anyway, back to the "date" with these two women.


My Issues With Marriage


My second reason, and the main point of this post was that I disclosed that I did not recognize any authority of the church, nor of the state, to sanction my vows or the level of my commitment to whomever I'd eventually end up with.  This idea literally horrified both women - you should have seen their faces.  It was like I'd pulled off a mask and revealed myself as Satan himself or Adolf Hitler or something.  It was classic.

I asked them hypothetically that if the apocalypse finally occurred, and suddenly there was no Court of Law, nor a Vatican or other recognized religious authority left standing, who would be left to wed people?  Their answer was dead silence, and that silence made my point for me.

I said "Exactly, so don't you see that no one actually needs these institutions because if two people who are truly committed to one other, and vow to each other that until their last breath they will be with their mate, that that is all the sanctioning that is necessary?  Do you mean to tell me that prior to the institution of the Church and of the State, that no one stayed together for the rest of their earthly lives, and that their commitment to one another was somehow weaker than what a present-day "married" couple's commitment is?  I can't buy that.  Marriage as we conceive of it is an elaborate and state-reinforced illusion."

Why does anyone need a third party to sanction their vows to one another?  They actually don't, but we've all been conditioned, brainwashed, and society has been engineered for us to believe that we do.  I understand that in this society marriage affords privileges to spouses such as death benefits, and estates, social security, etc.  I get all of that.  But it's all for material reasons, because we've all been taught that material things are somehow more important than love itself, and that love necessarily requires finance for consummation, etc.


The Result


Anyway, once that little tidbit of information came out, our little "meet-and-greet" came to an abrupt but cordial end.  My sexy little target said that she really wanted to be a "wife" and that she didn't want to "live in sin" with someone that she wasn't married to because that would somehow set a bad example for her two young daughters.  I should have asked why she didn't just say that on her goddamn profile and saved us both the trouble, but instead I wished her the very best in her search, gave her a hug, and went home.  As she was leaving, she really looked like she wanted to cry.  Poor girl.

However, in light of the two readings I got regarding my possibilities with her, I'd say I dodged a bullet and am grateful that I'm no longer in danger of being bombarded with whatever her particular flavor of all-but-hidden pathology would have been.  The sex wouldn't have been worth the headache, had it come to that.


Final Thoughts


At this point in my life, I cannot imagine marrying a woman, or being willing to even have a serious conversation about it, before being with her for at least 5-10 years and after having mutually built a life with her together during that time.  And if I were to take that step, I'd rather be married by a witch doctor, voodoo priest, or maybe a shaman because their power is far more legitimate in my opinion, having been earned in the fires of alchemical calcination, not legislated by a body whose power I don't recognize. 

Plus I would have to be 110% convinced that my mate and I were indeed soul mates, begging the question that such a companion exists for me.  In other words, I would never get married just because "that's what people are expected to do at a certain age, or because we've been dating long enough."  And I am quite unapologetic about that.  That's the stinkin' thinkin' that led to me getting married (and divorced) both times already.


I realize that it's probably going to be fairly difficult to find a woman who thinks the same way as I do with regard to dating and marriage, and with whom I am compatible on that level.  She'd probably also have to have a natal moon placement in Aquarius to understand my stance.  Or maybe she'd actually be from Uranus

Or maybe she'd really be my soul mate.  Do soul mates really exist?  We'll see...I'm not holding my breath on it though!