I've been practicing magick for about 7 years now, give or take. My overall aim is to complete the Great Work of personal transformation, and a big part of the Work is the ridding of any type of fear from the practitioner's sphere of sensation, at least to the extent that fear cannot control or inhibit your actions on any level. This is easier said than done, of course. Note that the trick is not to eliminate fear, because fear has a useful purpose, and some fear is healthy, especially when faced with a life-or-death situation because it can aid in caution and hopefully survival. That's not the type of fear I'm referring to.
How to Face Irrational FearsThe fear that I'm writing about is the irrational fears that we create ourselves, which are based on our own imaginations and not necessarily any real perils. Like Will Smith's character said in the movie "After Earth", "Danger is very real. But fear is a choice."
These fears can range from fears of rejection, of failure, of embarrassment, and many other fears can be included in that short list. It seems that there are new phobias invented daily. However the path of the Magician must include the facing of all fear, especially the irrational ones, in order to lessen fear about a certain situation or action. It must also include the facing of all primal fear, so as to make one mostly fearless.
Truly the fastest and most effective way to eliminate a fear is to face what one is fearful of. To that end, I have consciously decided that whenever I am afraid of something, I must face that fear head-on and experience the things that I am fearful of. By this decision, I have greatly lessened my fear of heights, fear of dark enclosed spaces, and even fears regarding certain roller coasters or amusement park rides. Because of a NDE (Near Death Experience) a few years ago, I no longer have a fear of death either. Perhaps I'll write about that experience at some point.
That does not mean that I am totally fearless, it just means that I am consciously working on all of my fears. In my mind at least, an elite magician is essentially fearless. So it would be hypocritical of me to call myself a magician at all if I were not consciously working on all of my personal fears. Fear is taught and learned, much like guilt, and both are equally useless responses to stimuli.
What does all of that have to do with the topic at hand? Everything. As I stated, I have been a magician for 7 years, and had never once performed a Goetic evocation, mostly because I was afraid to try it, but partially because I felt I didn't have a strong enough reason to do one. I have studied the Shem-hamephorash in depth, both the 72 angels, and the 72 daemons that correspond. But I'd still never taken that leap. Until recently.
One of the unfortunate things about a strong Christian upbringing is a learned apprehension to all things dark and of a dubious or chaotic occult nature. Sure, I can call up an angel or a god/dess or even one of the sub-lunaries, with no moral issues or conflicts. Most of the sublunaries that I speak of include many of the Hoodoo saints and spirits, St. Expedite and High John the Conqueror being just two of the ones that I enjoy a relationship with. But when you begin to speak of the Qlippoth entities, or Goetics in general, the traditional and conditioned Judeo-Christian admonitions of staying away from those types of spirits and practices comes back to mind full force, unbidden or not. The reason I call that unfortunate is because I believe that we are here to experience life in its entirety, which means not just the yin but the yang as well.
I could not truly be a practitioner of Gray Magick if I were fearful of the Black. I would be a hypocrite, and I refuse to be that. At the end of the day, I want to embody the whole truth in my nature, because I consider "wholeness" to be a higher moral standard than "goodness".
I suppose I should speak on the evocation itself at this point.
My last job ended badly. So badly in fact, that it will require legal action on my part and against my former employer to make it right. I've been here before, but not quite like this. I had been cheated out of earned commissions, passed over twice for promotions for racial reasons, and just plain abused on multiple levels. I'm surprised I stayed there as long as I did, but I was chasing a goal, and you cannot turn back a true Capricorn once he has his mind set on a goal. At best, you can only delay them.
Because I wanted some payback for my poor treatment, after some research I decided to petition the 72nd Goetic spirit Andromalius because he punishes those who deal with others in an underhanded manner, along with other related specialties. Because I believe that the absence of fear is necessary when dealing with entities of allegedly chaotic natures, I was able to find a Goetic evocation technique that did not require the curses, the circle, nor the tools of the Solomonic method. In other words, I did not want to threaten Andromalius, because threats themselves evoke or demonstrate fear, and because it would have been counterproductive to the goal. Why make a potential enemy of a Goetic when it's unnecessary to do so, especially if it's possible to have need of that entity's services in the future? I'd rather make an ally of a Goetic spirit than an enemy personally.
The method of summoning itself actually required very little in the way of props. You can read more about the actual method here. I'm not a big believer in magickal tools. I don't even have a wand, although I do wear a robe sometimes. I think everything a magician wants to do in magick should be achievable using his mind, words, and body alone as long as he is able to focus his energies and the energies around him into a working. The tools give a working extra power only because the magician believes it so. That may sound like a Chaos Magick approach, but it makes sense to me. You can't tell me that the magicians of old had to use lamens, wands, and rings, etc. every single time they wanted to do some magick. Even Moses himself only used a staff, but he probably didn't even need that. However, I very often will use candles and herbs, etc., because they add to the material basis of a work, but that's about it.
Ok, back to the evocation. I'd already followed the process outlined by Devi Spring to create the petition paper, drawing out the seal etc. After doing my preliminary banishings, Middle Pillar Rite, and the Bornless Rite, I invoked Auset to be present to guide the process, and also asked Lord Ganesha to "open the way" for me to speak with Andromalius. I then began to chant the enn of Andromalius to get his attention - you can do a search for Goetic enns on Google, I won't post them here. I did this ritual on a Tuesday during the nighttime hour of Mars because Andromalius is a night daemon. Andromalius is also an Earl of Hell, so I faced the Southern direction of Fire when evoking.
After chanting his enn for about 3 minutes, the air in the room changed and "darkened" to signal his arrival. The hair on my arms stood up, but I suppressed any fear because I realized it was only a physical reaction to a change in the room's energy quality, and didn't necessarily signify any threat to me personally. I inquired as to whom was present and it turned out it was a deputy of Andromalius who had arrived. I asked him to project the seal of Andromalius, so that I could make sure he could speak for him, which he did, and then I asked his name. He told me his name but I should have written it down as all I can remember is that it began with the letter Z. He also showed me a sigil of his name, but again I wasn't prepared to write anything down. I'll be more prepared next time for that sort of thing.
I then spoke with him regarding the problems I'd been having, and asked if he could help. He indicated that he could perform the tasks I'd requested, and then we discussed payment. I let him know what I would pay, and he indicated that it was sufficient. Payment was to be rendered within two weeks if all tasks were completed. There were three tasks to be performed.
Overall, his demeanor was very businesslike, and cool. Not at all like what I'd expected, although I'd read from multiple sources that Andromalius is very noble and quick to perform what you ask of him provided the payment is adequate. I've found that to be true with him. Again, I didn't use a circle, nor did I make any threats of any kind because I didn't feel they were necessary and would probably create more problems than it would solve. I am confident in my banishing ability, and also in my relationship with two of my patrons, Auset (Isis) and Lord Ganesha, so why would I need protection from chaotic spirits, especially if I have treated them with respect? Add to that I have a good relationship with Archangel Michael, yet another protective entity who I'd already invoked during the Lesser Banishing Ritual.
When communicating with Andromalius' deputy I was cordial, direct, and efficient in my communication, and he was the same toward me. We did chat a bit, but we kept it business for the most part.
I am happy to say that the evocation was successful, although I cannot go into very much detail regarding the actual work petitioned. Results began to occur within 3-4 days although I'd given two weeks for results to be made manifest. It was quite a positive experience, and I'd highly recommend working with this spirit if you ever need to get back at someone who has wronged you or a loved one unfairly. I am glad I took this leap, because it is very empowering to release yet another irrational fear.
My thanks again to Andromalius for his aid.